Dirty Little Secret
by Hollywood Scarlet
Summary: Mike needs a date to take to a banquet in order to make Maryse jealous. Cody wants to help him out. So what does he do? He hires Mike a prostitute. This can't possibly end well...


**A/N:** Ahhh, Hi all you sexy people. Remember me? Oh you don't? Fair enough, can't say I blame you. It's been a while. I'll be honest; I kind of lost interested in it all. Not just fanfiction, but youtube and even going on twitter; I just never felt like coming online. I can't promise that now I'm going to be on all the time, cos I won't be. But I will try to be on here a lot more and perhaps go on twitter a few times a week.

I do miss you all. And love you all to death. But here is my apology – a completely random two-shot I got inspired to do while watching How I met your mother. Multicouples but mainly revolves around Miz/Maria with mention of Miz/Maryse and the appearance of Maryse/? and Melina/JoMo, as well as Cody being a player. ;)

Thank god that's over. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys did not read that uber long Authors Note, but if you did – you're awesome! xD I hope you all enjoy.

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><p>"You know guys; I really think that Alicia could be the <em>one<em>." Michael Mizanin sighed contently as he raised his bottle and took a swig. John Morrison resisted urging to roll his eyes, while Cody Rhodes however did not. Melina just looked up at Mike and gave him a forced smile.

"That's great, Mike, really." The brunette lied. It was anything but great.

It's not that she wasn't happy for Mike, because she honestly was; she just knew that Mike would get his heart-broken, again. Plus, it didn't help that for the past 20 minutes Mike was going on about how Alicia liked the same disc as Mike in his James Bond box set.

It was doing Melina's head in, but, being the amazing friend that she was, although her patience was wearing thin, she bit her tongue.

"It is, it really is. Oh! Did I mention how nice her hair smelt as well? It's smells like a bunch of velvet roses." Mike told the trio as he smiled dreamily at the thought. Cody analysed what Mike just said and turned to his friend and furrowed his brows together.

"You're not being serious right now? You sound like a fag, dude." Cody honestly told his friend before shaking his head.

"Say what you wish, but at least I have a girl." Mike retorted.

"At least I'm the one actually getting some." Cody stated flatly.

Mike gasped before replied to Cody's comment. "I'm getting some... just not as much as you."

Cody chuckled before taking the bottle to his mouth. "Exactly." He replied smugly.

John chuckled as he snaked an arm over his girlfriend's neck and placed his bottle back on the table. "They've been dating, what, four months and he's alright whipped? Damn, she's got you wrapped around her little finger, man." John snorted before Cody bowed his head at John, obviously agreeing with the older man.

Melina turned to her boyfriend of three years and raised her brow. "What's wrong with being whipped?" She questioned John sternly.

John looked at Melina before opening his mouth hesitantly. "Nothing, baby! Nothing at all."

Mike chuckled as Melina cockily grinned and nudged closer to her boyfriend, while John acknowledged that he had indeed just dodged a bullet.

Cody on the other hand shook his head at the scene. "I see that I'm still the only one here with a set of balls." He told them disappointingly.

"And the only one who's single." Melina pointed out, earning a sharp glare from Cody. Melina giggled as gave him an innocent smile.

There was a comfortable silence that fell before the group that was quickly interrupted by an excited French-Canadian blonde that came running into the bar, maneuvering herself through the crowd before making it to the table.

"Oh my god guys, I have exciting news!" She told them. The group all looked up at Maryse, awaiting for her to share her news. "I have been nominated for a Local Broadcast award for my report on that stoned guy who fell into a well!" The blonde exclaimed with a little squeal.

The four all smiled and congratulated her. "I know, how exciting is it? You guys are all invited to the banquet. I know they're not that fun, but it would mean the world to me if you guys would come." Maryse told them.

The four friends all silently groaned and bowed their heads, scanning their minds for excuses. Maryse sighed and piped up again. "Plus, there's an open bar..."

The four all raised her heads and their eyes lit up. Maryse rolled her eyes when the four of them all began to agree to come.

"Put me down for two." Mike said cheerfully to his friend and now ex-girlfriend. The two had dated for two years before deciding to break up. The break up had been hard on them both, and not to mention their friends. And the two would be lying if they said that there weren't any unresolved feelings there but they still remained good friends nonetheless.

Maryse glanced at Mike. "Really?" She questioned as he confidently nodded his head. "It's like 3 months away..."

"I know, but I've got a strong feeling that Alicia's going to be sticking around for a long, long time." Mike grinned from ear-to-ear to his friends.

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><p>"I'm going to miss Alicia." John sighed.<p>

Mike looked up and John and Cody who were sitting across from him and sighed also. "Maybe I should skip this thing?" He suggested as he played with his glass. "I mean, I don't have a date and Maryse is still pissed at me after... you know,"

"You lied and told her you'd broken up with Alicia before you actually were and tried to nail Maryse and ended up losing both girls in one night?" Cody asked innocently.

Mike's face dropped and he shot a glare at Cody, who just grinned sheepishly. "Yes, that's what I meant by '_you know.'_" Mike shook his head. "I haven't spoken to Maryse in three weeks, she won't return my calls. Look, I just, I shouldn't go." Mike sighed.

"You should go! It's a chance to show her you're still friends and that you support her." John told him, knowing that it would be worse if he didn't go.

"Or, it's a chance to mess with her head and turn up with someone hotter." Cody suggested before piping up again. "Oh, triple threat! Someone hotter _and_ with bigger boobs." Cody told him before wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

John made an 'are you serious' face and looked at Cody, who just grinned back at him. John chuckled and shook his head. The things that younger man came up with were sometimes too hard for John to comprehend.

Mike's face almost mirrored John's, but he soon softened it a bit. "That's only two." Mike pointed out.

Cody smiled at his friend. "Ah, my friend, count again."

Mike sighed as he poured some of the dry liquid into his mouth. "Even if I wanted to, I can't, this thing is in two hours."

"Then get an escort." Cody suggested in a nonchalant fashion with a shrug of his shoulders.

John, who was drinking his beer almost choked as the cold liquid as it was travelling down his throat.

"Uh, by escort you mean, _prostitute_?" Mike asked as he glanced at his friend and forced back a laugh at his friend wiping the few drops of beer that he spilt upon hearing Cody's suggestion.

"Why not?" Cody shrugged again, obviously not seeing the anything wrong with his suggestion.

"Because... gross?"

"Oh what, _gross_? You have some kind of problem with hookers? Come on, Mike. Let's get you a hooker! It will be fun!" Cody grinned at his friends.

"No, Cody. We're not getting a hooker so I can take her as my date to Maryse's banquet."

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><p>"Mike's still coming to this thing, right?" Maryse nonchalantly asked her best friend, Melina. Melina looked up at her friend and nodded. The two were getting ready in Melina's apartment while John, Cody and Mike were all down at the bar.<p>

"Yeah, I'm pretty certain." Melina said as she grabbed her purse. "Why?"

"Well, hypothetically speaking, do you think it would be weird for me to bring a date?" Maryse hesitantly asked as she placed her jacket on her shoulders. The two were just about ready to head down to the bar and go off to the banquet with the guys.

Melina placed a huge grin on her face. "Look at you, trying to make Mike jealous."

Maryse forced a smile. "No it's not that. It's just this guy from the station asked me and I said yes." Maryse shrugged. "And... he's really hot." Melina nodded in approval. "Is it going to be weird?" Maryse asked as she bit down on her lip.

Melina shook her head. "No! Of course not. It will be fine." The Latina reassured her friend as she gave her a small smile.

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><p>"Maryse is bringing a date." Melina told John over the phone once Maryse had quickly headed off to the bathroom.<p>

"Oh, no way! That is going to be _so_ weird!" John spoke back into the mouthpiece as he glanced at Mike sitting back at the table. Cody had said he needed to pick up something from his apartment down the street so he has left a good 15 minutes ago. But upon receiving the call from Melina, John made sure to excuse himself from the table quickly.

"I know!" Melina exclaimed in a loud whisper. Melina heard Maryse about to come out. "I've gotta' go baby. I'll see you soon." She told him as she quickly hanged up.

John put his phone back into his pocket and made his way back to the table. He pursed his lips and contemplated whether to tell Mike or not. "Maryse is bringing a date." He blurted out.

Mike immediately looked up at John. "Oh." Mike said trying his best not to sound disappointed. "Okay, that's cool... I'm glad she's moving on." Mike shrugged and put a smile on his face.

"Dude! It's going to be _weird_." John moaned childishly as he leaned forward over the table.

"It will not!" Mike said as he waved his hand nonchalantly at his friend. "It will be completely normal."

Oh who was he kidding, it was _so_ going to be weird.

"Oi Mike! Look what I got you!" Mike and John heard Cody exclaimed excitedly as he entered the bar with a stunning red-head on his arm.

She had long dark red-hair and was wearing an extremely short, tight red dress that showed just as much cleavage needed – maybe a little more than necessary. She was smiling as she gave the two a small wave. Cody grinned widely as he motion the red-head with his arms before holding up two thumbs up.

Mike exchanged a worried glances at John before he looked back at Cody and the girl, giving them an extremely fake and an extremely forced smile.

"He didn't..." Mike groaned inaudibly at John through gritted teeth as he kept his eyes on the girl and returned her wave.

John stared at Cody and the red-head, giving her a shy wave. "Oh, he _so_ did..."

Great. Now it was going to be even weirder...

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><p><strong>AN:** Oh that Cody! ;) hahaha.  
>I hope you guys liked it so far. Remember it's a <strong>TWO<strong>-shot. It was going to be a one-shot, but it would've been way too long, so I decided to make it a two-shot. Please review, I'd love to know what you thought.

Oh and if you didn't already realize: Mike is Ted, Maryse is Robin, Melina is Lily, JoMo is Marshall, and yes people... Cody is Barney. xD

Also who do you guys think is Maryse's date? 10 bucks if you get it right. Just kidding, I would never throw that kind of money around. I'll... write up a one-shot for you? (:


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